Very very very cute video my love!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYNznNBeDnQ&playnext=1&videos=Pz_N4UFKyYM&feature=rec-LGOUT-real_rev-rn-2r-4-HM

Trust me. It wasn worth the trouble. No one called you because everyone thinks you hate me. Hmm. Lol. I wonder why. The last time you gave me the impression you had moved on. You must be a good actor... Uhm.. I love you. I'll talk to you eventually. Trust me, it's probs better you haven't been talking to me. Not a lot of good stuff has happened. Some. New friends and such. I love you so much. Hugs. And goodnight.

You think we are ever gonna be able to talk... Normally again?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQSU5nn76hM&feature=PlayList&p=1193C49820254386&index=3&playnext=2



and



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tf92q6Vrj2o&feature=channel


Let me know which you like better?

It still means every single thing to me. If I could be with you, believe me, I would.
I love you so much more than words can describe. Just hang on, don't give up, on whatever you believe in, what you want.

Fucking cherish emotions. It will fuck you up so bad, if you become numb, like you are trying so hard to do. You ask me to give up, carry on. Its impossible. You have changed my life, and now, changed it again. It feels like nothing is right.



Huh, I forget the things I write, and it makes me think. Hm.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMuDEoVZnwk&NR=1

Hi.

"Sticks and stones are hard on the bones,
aimed with anger and hurt.
Words can sting like anything,
But silence breaks the heart."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KipSEcE6gGM&NR=1


Hey, by the way. Your present is on its way! Almost 16. I really care about you.

Morning! Hugs. Hope everything is alright. : ) love you.

I gotta question for you. What would you change?

I absolutely love this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PxzG0gFFNA&feature=channel

iloveyoury

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwn1ninmmgg

I’ve got to be honest,
I’ve got my doubts,
These tears are asking me,
What’s this got to do with love?

24/7

Hugs. I miss yeah girl. I really do. I wish I could be with you. Every single day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKg9wo56WbQ

So, whats changed? From, lets say a year ago. Two? How have you changed? I'm looking back on everything, from the past, and realizing how much changes, while your living. Anyway, I'm out. With the guys, 2nd day in a row. Its kinda nice. Love you.

HI

KINDA, loving this summer, only thing that would make it better is you here with me :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=US46cHVj0-M


Can we go back, to how things used to be? How you smiled when you saw me? When you looked me in the eyes, and could tell me that you loved me? Can we go back to that?

January 20 at 11:48pm
I was watching you tonight. The way you act, the things you do. I'm gonna miss it.

January 20 at 11:48pm
That's what hurts the most. Not seeing your face everyday is gonna be really hard.

January 29 at 3:42pm
I'm glad. You know, I used to wish that some day you would fall inlove with me

Nigel Peterson January 29 at 4:14pm
Are you going to date other boys, kiss other boys?
Sent via Facebook Mobile

January 29 at 4:15pm
No, I'm not. Unless you decided you want other girls.

January 29 at 4:25pm
Uhm, I think I will love you forever.

Surprise

Okay okay okay, okay. Ok. Surprise. You. UNexpected. Cain. Oh god. OH god. I don't even know. TOOK YEAH LONG ENOUGH, to come around, jezzus christ. OFF to the beach!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21fz4eQITro


so whats up? I just got back. My arm is still killing me, yet again. Cain told me I had a problem last night. I think he may be right, although I told him not to worry.

.

I'm thinking about you. I took for granted the last time i kissed your lips.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlMEGBsw6j8

I miss you. Again. Whats new.

Damn girl.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCOOAiKd73o


HAHA, guess what!? Blood test tomorrow... I hate needles. Vancouver in a while, to go see another specialist. Not fun. Apparently there are a few things wrong with me, which became present after my surgery.. I'll keep you updated darling ;) Let you know if I'm dying or anything important like that. I hope all is well with you. I send a hug or two. Trust me, I don't smell bad...except my arm..Don't smell my arm. Haha. Fighting with mom, yet again. Instead, now I just leave when she starts pissing me off. I'm done fighting. It's her problem, not mine. She's going for an x-ray. Something to do with her arm. I hope shes okay.. Anyway, I love yeah. Hope to hear from you eventually.

Hi

I don't understand you sometimes... Hmf. OH, GUESS WHAT. I got a job. I start next Thursday. I'm happy that I got a job. Anyway, your silence is deafening.

"Did you forget who you were while pretending you weren't hurting, or have you actually changed because of the hurting?"

WTF man. I'm sore. Damn sleeping. I gots to stop doing it.

"Say I'm A Bird." "If your a bird, I'm a bird"

Watching the notebook. I love you. Even in another life.

I Wanna Give You A Nigel Hug.

Good morning sunshine.

So. I was thinking about a lot. Again. My mom and me kinda had a breaking point tonight. We talked. She told me the only reason she is here is for her kids. That, I think is the most unselfish thing I have ever heard. I always thought I was here to die. You know, you live for one final moment when you die. But I don't think thats it. I was once told that I will amount to something, that I might change the world. Now, as I grew up... several years, I realized it doesn't really matter if I change the world. All that matters is that I change the world of one person. And that will make all the difference. I told you I would not be able to live without you. Thats a bit of a lie. I'm sure I could. Its just the fact the I don't want to. That night you were craving hard liquor? Remember that. I'm really starting to understand. It numbs most of reality. And makes it so you can sleep. I slept like a baby. I'm not saying I hate my life. I have a better one than a lot of others. I can only say that there are things I do not enjoy very much. I could be spoiled. Maybe just stubborn. Either way, I think that life, is about living. Don't take a day for granted, say whats on your mind. You might not have another one, and your last impression may not be a good one to remember. What was the last time you saw someone you cared about? What did you say to them?

Never Knowing What Could Have Been

I'm looking at the ocean thinking about you. And i can't myself. I can't stop loving you. Or even having you on my mind. You did a good job seeking me out. And reeling me in. Now i'm stuck. This won't stop. You know just as well as i do we aren't over. And that we both still love each other.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZCuq10FZH0

Take What You Will From It http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8iWEktQhg0&NR=1

Nigel Peterson says:
*hi
melissa p says:
*hi hi
Nigel Peterson says:
*hi
melissa p says:
*hiiiii
*what are you up to?
Nigel Peterson says:
*uhm
*crying, hanging out..you know
melissa p says:
*crying ?!
Nigel Peterson says:
*just
*this is a sad song
*i cry easy
melissa p says:
*your cute.
*HEY.
decided i want to get a tattooooooo asap
*so why dont you come down here in 2 years and hold my hand while pain ensues.
Nigel Peterson says:
*sounds good
melissa p says:
*I want that : )
Nigel Peterson says:
*i see nothing
*...
melissa p says:
*DAMN
*
* melissa p stopped sharing photos
*
* You stopped sharing photos
*
melissa p says:
*well ill send you the link then (:
*http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_l0ahq5unJT1qzabkfo1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1278904093&Signature=1sKIEavxg5YaAvjQ9%2FskYnbZU3I%3D
Nigel Peterson says:
*WOOOW
*stop being sexy
*its weird
melissa p says:
*LOL IM NOT?
*I just love it.
Nigel Peterson says:
*no no
*I just saw a picture of you..
*im like
*wtf
*she has boobs, shes hot
*weird
melissa p says:
*LOL
*WHERE?
Nigel Peterson says:
*your chest....? Where else would boobs be?
melissa p says:
*no i meant which picture
*obviously.
*I know where boobs are located thank you very much
Nigel Peterson says:
*Lol.
melissa p says:
*ps - are oyu even aloud to call me attractive?
*is that like
*in the friendship code?
Nigel Peterson says:
*...I don't care. I'm aloud to
*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cD4ufkgzIxE&feature=fvsr
melissa p says:
*Hahahah okay nige
*ALRIGHT MY LIFE SUCKS
*example: Met extremely cute guy at warped, that wasnt famous .. he was extremely nice and gave me a hug AND i added him on facebook and HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND.
*like why are you approaching me if you have a girlfriend? WHYYYYYYY
Nigel Peterson says:
*....because guys and girls can be friends?
melissa p says:
*but he was like ..... flirty flirterson
Nigel Peterson says:
*?
melissa p says:
*Never mind hahahah its really not a big deal, just annoys me that there are no good guys out there for moi to enjoy
*the only nice guy that i can physically be with is jake ... and im so not interested in that. lol
Nigel Peterson says:
*...hahahahahah
*jake
*nice
*hahahahahahaahhaahh
melissa p says:
*Jake is like amazing nice ?!
*well i mean other than when he does weird things
*... like sexually oriented things
*hes a sweetheart :)
Nigel Peterson says:
*hahah
melissa p says:
*YESS you liked my awesome little family picture on facebook
*Where i look partially insane.
*Theres reason behind me laughing randomly
*i swear :)
Nigel Peterson says:
*:)
melissa p says:
*Blah .. im so hungry right now
*but i cant seem to eat anything
*lately my body hasnt been cooperating with my mind
*its annoying
Nigel Peterson says:
*id say so
melissa p says:
*yesyes, so whatsb een going on in your mind lately?
Nigel Peterson says:
*I'm just going through some old e-mails
*Riley wrote on my blog the other day...
melissa p says:
*no way
*: O
*i dont have your link anymore
*send it ?(:
Nigel Peterson says:
*Uhm.
*I don't think itd really important
melissa p says:
*no?
*well then nevermind i guess :)
Nigel Peterson says:
*k
melissa p says:
*.... idontknowwhattotalkabout
Nigel Peterson says:
*me neither
*riley said two words
*she wrote on my blog
*two words
melissa p says:
*what were they?
Nigel Peterson says:
*forever & always
melissa p says:
*and where does that leave all of this?
*I honestly dont get your whole realtionship
*dont hate me for saying this but your being a huge pushover. She basically said she didnt want you anymore, made out with another guy and is now saying forever and always? and your taking it? How can you justify what she did?
Nigel Peterson says:
*There is a lot of things that really don't make sense.
*Listen
*Everyone needs something to believe in, no matter what.
*Riley is that for me.
melissa p says:
*Why though? shes tearing you apart.
Nigel Peterson says:
*Maybe I was already torn apart. And shes teaching me how to be put together again.
melissa p says:
*That really just doesnt make sense. I get that you love her and all that, i desperatly believe in love like that .. but shes your first love..and it seems like with you, you want to give up everything for her
*but you need to think of it in the situation where she might not be the girl you end up marrying in like 20 years
Nigel Peterson says:
*What am I really giving up Melissa? You say everything?
melissa p says:
*Your sanity.
Nigel Peterson says:
*I serious doubt I'm going crazy
melissa p says:
*Honestly?
Nigel Peterson says:
*Honestly
melissa p says:
*You're actually trying to tell me that all of the times you wanted to wipe yourself off the face of the earth .. it had nothing to do with her?
*You really cant say that and be telling the truth
*Im not going to fight you on this .. but I am really not going to support you
*You even said you were more dedicated in the friendship than her ..
*relationship*
Nigel Peterson says:
*If not for the bad times, what would make the good times.
melissa p says:
*Well theres an aweful lot of bad times ...
Nigel Peterson says:
*I would live them all over.
*Rather than take away the good times
*If you think
*there was a lot of good times
*there was 20x more
*than bad
melissa p says:
*Okay I know. And I dont understand your relationship at all so my input doesnt even have to mean anything to you! But it seems like she tried to move on because she knew you guys werent going to end up together
*and in all honesty the odds of you guys staying together for another 20 years is so unlikely
Nigel Peterson says:
*how much?
*1 in a million?
melissa p says:
*hardly
*even if you guys
*never had issues
*ever
Nigel Peterson says:
*Listen
*For one sec.
*When I got put under with my surgury for my arm
*I got given 6 different drugs
*And I was allergic to the one
*I went into shock, almost stopped breathing.
*Afterwards, when it all finished, I sat in the hospital best for a good 45 minutes
*Shaking and crying, because my body had gone into shock. I couldn't stop it, and I didn't know why
*When I was shaking and crying, the only thing I could think of, was her.
*Not my mom
*not my sister
*not anyone else.
*Let me finish
*Now, Afterwards, the doctor talked to me.
*I could have died. I could have. The doctor told me I was allergic to the drugs, and I had two reactions. I was REALLY itchy, and I pretty much stopped breathing. He said less than 1% of patients have even one of those reactions.
*Why can't I be that 1% with her?
*And afterwards.
*The only thing I really cared about, was seeing her again.
melissa p says:
*I know that you love her and you care about her. I obviously can see that and would never doubt it once. Ill im saying is you cant limit yourself to just her right now. If your not that 1% your just going to be lonely.
*AND
*Maybe she isnt the love of your life, maybe you havent met her yet
Nigel Peterson says:
*Thats the thing Melissa. I don't care even if she isn't the love of my life. I am going to do everything in my power to have a chance. To be that one percent. I'm not limiting myself. But I have no interest in other girls. I don't know why. But, I compare her to them. And find something I don't like. Shes always on my mind. If I meet that girl, I'm not going to NOT take a chance. She told me once,
*something really important
*when this all started
*

Another thing, if you find another girl, that you like. Go for it. Don't let me hold you back. If you have a chance with someone else, someone who could make you happy, go for it. I want you to be happy. Please. Don't let me hold you back from something like that. I know you say it wont happen, but it could.
*Thats word for word
melissa p says:
*PAUSE-
*a stranger just called me pretty. OMG YAY confidence just actually reached normal level
*PLAY-
Nigel Peterson says:
*PAUSE-
*your a loser
*PLAY
melissa p says:
*WAIT
*im not a loser
Nigel Peterson says:
*PLAY
*fast forward
melissa p says:
*Alright ive actually had enough intense talking for one night
*You can do whatever you want honestly I want you to be happy and thats why i even said anything
Nigel Peterson says:
*Agreed. You know what
*she told me one really thing
*"I love you so much. You have no idea. We might have to end it for now. But i still want to spend my life with you. Even if we are not together for now.
*"
*I think
*that
*was
*it.
melissa p says:
*it?
*what do you mean?
Nigel Peterson says:
*When I decided I would wait for her, because it really mattered to me
melissa p says:
*Okay, well please just dont invest everything in her .. I dont want you to end up getting even more hurt and fucked over having to marry me at 40 (;
Nigel Peterson says:
*Sounds like a plan
*I'm going to live my life
*But
*shes still a part of it
*even if shes not
*OMG
*cute song
*video
*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Uq3nI11w4g&NR=1
melissa p says:
*I actually love our friendship
*We can be so serious yet end up talkign about random things
Nigel Peterson says:
*I think I just love that
*tooo
melissa p says:
*I think I need to find someone like you to love forever! When I find a boy I will bring him to you, you can tell me if hes actually good : )

No Subject

I have something i want to send you.

Just because I'm hurting doesn't mean I'm hurt. Just because I'm losing, doesn't mean I'm lost. I'm starting to get the strength I need. Everyday. I don't want my love to go to waste. I want you and your beautiful soul. Your the one I want to chase. Your the one I want to hold. I want you and your beautiful soul.

No Subject

It's getting worse. Not better. I'm starting to miss you more and more. When will this stop. Will it ever stop?

No Subject

I can't stop thinking about you tonight.

No Subject

I'm still waiting for you to come save me from this joke of a so called life.

July 6, 2010 12:25:45 AM

I think the biggest part that made me love you so much was the fact
that you taught me things about myself. You taught me how to be the me
I have always wanted to be. That me that makes me feel happy about who
I am. You are the most important person I have ever met in my life.
You can tell when I am sad. You can make me smile at the worst times.
Just. You help with everything. There are some days I want to die.
Literally. And the only thing that really keeps me going is you.
Knowing that no matter what, it will get better. There are always so
many things said. But what does even one word mean if it has no truth,
no YOU in it. If you know what I mean. We rushed into... Everything. I
don't regret one minute though. Not one. You know, I look back at who
I was before you came into my life. A lot different. Even if you don't
realize it, you changed me. In a way so drastic, I will never be the
same. Nor do I want to be. I have always been good with words, and I
always have a urge to put my thoughts into words. I hate thinking for
a second that no one is listening...no, caring, about what I have to
say. I get told almost daily from most that know me well that they
don't understand why I do things.... Why I act like I do. They say I
font act like most. To tell you the truth I am perfectly fine with
being different. You always told me that you liked that I was
different. Melissa says that there us no point in waiting for you,
because I will be just waiting for heartbreak. I knw she means well,
but she doesn't understand. I have faith, and hope, in you. In who you
are, and that your words were never empty. I keep promises, as I have
pointed out many times before. Love is, as the movie I was watching
earlier (A Walk To Remember) like the wind. You may not to be able to
see it, but you can feel it. I'm hoping you can love as much as I do.
I'm going to wait for you, you have my word. I love you, I will prove
it. Yours, Nigel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELkWIGOxPyk

.

I'm reading the notebook. Excellent story. I'm just. Its funny how people cope with things. It usually gives you time to sit down and reflect on who you are. And what you really want.

It's hard to say I'm not the same without you. But also, so easy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Uq3nI11w4g&a=8VZaPyW2Gx4&playnext_from=ML&playnext=1

Hey. Made me think of you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtMhtMc1GW8 you don't have my poem anymore. Do you?

Hugs

HELLO. Gibsons today! With...my sisters boyfriends family...yeah. Hes epic. The boyfriend. Anyway, can't wait. Leaving at 2! I love the beach! Even though I can't go in :(. I'll think of you my love :) Hugs.

Teach me.

So...uhm. Mkay. Today was interesting. I am mmmmeeeeeeeeggga confused. I'm not sure if you read this anymore. I am really confused. Fuck. Lets not bother with silly shit tonight. Everything is always serious stuff. Lets just chill while blogging. I miss yeah. Things aren't simple. I know, they never are. I'm just comforted to know my efforts weren't wasted. That I gave myself for a reason. Especially that whole virginity thing.....Its special. Anyway. Gonna watch another movie. I send my love, and eventually I will have it returned. I know you can't talk to me. I get it. Well. Lets see what time shows us. Maybe something good will happen. As for right now, I am going to spend 2 hours in spirit with you, watching that silly movie... Moulon Rouge :P. I'll let you know how it goes. I love you. P.s. This is a mess. As you recall "it's my mess and I love it". Right? Parents are stupid. Whats new. Hugs. Maybe next time you see me you won't act as though I smell foul...or have a contagious disease...Maybe I will get a hug. I know, long stretch. God. Things ended bad last time. But, the past is the past. Read my book again. You might learn a thing or two about love. Maybe I just learnt those things from you. You taught me how to love.

I hope you still feel small when you stand against the ocean, Ry.

I really hope you don't lose who you were. Who you are. Who I fell in love with. Who I still love. I hope your dreams really do come true, even if I'm not part of them right now. I keep my promises Ry. I'm not giving up, no matter what you say. Your worth more than that. I really hope I do know you. I think I still do. I'm not someone to be scared of. I'm a stubborn boy, I know. If I wasn't I wouldn't be writing this.

"Living might mean taking chances,
But they're worth taking.
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making,
Don't let some hell bent heart,
Leave you bitter.
When you come close to selling out,
Reconsider.
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance. "

You don't want to lose me. I know you don't.

Okay! Let's do some blogging. I now realize how useful my left hand was.... Everything is harder to do. And I can't write anymore...great. I've talked to the police 2 times in the last 3 days. Not fun. You wrote three pages in that book. Of what you needed to say. No, what you wanted to say. Then you threw them away. What are you scared of. That you cared about someone? Or the fact that it's easier to forget, than to try and hold onto the memories? Do you still feel alone? Like the day the you cried? Emotions are not a scary thought. Everyone has them. It's just how you decide to handle them. What did those 3 pages say? What was on those pages that scared you. You still have the book? Or did you turf it? And try to forget about the good times, and the bad? What scares you the most.

Okay

Only time will tell. The universe provided what the highest good of all concern was. All I can do is live. I'm not hiding from my part. And i'm looking forward to the uncertainty of the future. I learned more what you than anyone else. I hope you learnt something as well.