So we're struggling, lifes our souls, and failing with each attempt.
I've been having so much trouble sleeping lately.
So many problems, yet I can't seem to let any of them bother me.
Most of all I think what bugs me is the amount of people that I haven't been seeing lately. And people that I want to talk to me more, that don't.
I've been sketching and painting like a maniac with a cause.
Man, I wish I could sleep.
Did you know that dogs have cleaner mouths than humans?
That semen has essential nutrients in it?
That every single person has a unique way of writing, like a finger print?
That Nigel thinks he's a bit crazy, even on his best days.
Or that I get sick whenever I think about Riley.
Or that I hate how my last girlfriend turned out, woohoo.
Me on the losing side, like always.
Constantly, disappointment, and yet I have the most unique and upbeat tempto.
It's like not only do I stay positive, when I have no reason to, I have a way of making that positivity move on to other people. A contagious positive.
Honestly, I wish I could teleport.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YD7zoFppvvU&feature=autoplay&list=ML4oVf-d_DwKBUxbFJjPKyGEuMsx4Z5xum&index=6&playnext=6


if you see Riley,
tell her I miss her.

It doesn't matter where I've been,
tell me if you see her.
DAMMIT.
fucking.

so, my friends can make me so upset.
I want a real best friend.
Who will show up on time, and sleep over.
And talk about nothing. and build forts.
and likes my music.
dammit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghZt2cILcCU

And they call her love, love, love, love. She is love. And she is all I need.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xr3qfy78iG4

HOW THE FUCK DID I FUCKING LET A YEAR GO BY AND FEEL SO FUCKING numb.
and how the fuck am i still here.
when all i want to do is be with you.
whicch i know won't happen.
SO, next thing to come along, which will be here one day.
soon, hopefully, for i'm feeling lonely, and i need someone who's on the same brain level as me. which i haven't found. yet. even though i've been all over this fucking town known as london. with this many people, why can't i find one.
cv.
thats all i think about.
why.
why
why.
and why, on this fucking date, can i still trace back the memories of my brain, and still feel each emotion of that horrible day, and will haunt me everytime i think about you. I remember you yelling at me on the street. And riding my bike and throwing it aside, and fucking yelling at you, telling you to finally talk to me.
I remember you telling me you hated me. I never gave up. I continued to love you, and love you, and love you. I made my life change, because you changed me, and in exchange. This pain and sorrow, this longing for fucking there to be tomorrow. with the only prospects of happiness is what i create, and control.
until someone else comes along.