These are the last words I'm ever gonna get to say to you.
Afraid of silence. Feel like it could kill. It allows time for unwanted thoughts to wander, and take over. Any time quiet takes over my mind begins to scream. Things I don't want to think about. Memories that should be buried deep beneath the surface. Silence gives time for reality to sink in, for fears to become real. The moments the world falls quiet I can feel the sadness take over me. Pulling me down to that cold, dark place. The one I try to avoid. Sometimes I fall so quickly that I can't breathe, other times, I don't even feel it at all. Numbness is worse than pain. At least I have control of the pain. All hope is gone, no point in dreaming. Dreaming always ends in failure, and disappointment. There's no way out. Once you're in this place you're stuck forever. There's always one special person who can pull you out of the dark place just long enough to breathe. But then they let go, and you're in deeper than you were to begin with. People always leave. Which causes the feeling of emptiness. It's a cold, bitter feeling. But it can be easily hidden behind a smile. A smile that no one knows is hiding heartbreak. It's all just a big circle really. The world falls quiet, putting you down. Someone comes along, helping you up. You fall back down, and so on. The only thing that changes is that you get knocked down deeper and deeper each time. People always leave.

You were. So right. How much deeper? If your reading this, just like the book, you are, I'm not sure... Curious, I hurt so much. Inside and out.